Episode 156

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Published on:

26th Oct 2024

Baseball Blunders, Comedy and Embarrassing Stories! Who's Your Band? Episode 156

On this week's episode of "Who's Your Band?" we take a hard turn and talk about Jeff's weekend of baseball blunders. Club Owner and teammate Tom Borowski joins us on the show to talk about embarrassing stories, Lenny Dykstra, the music of Bruce Springsteen, and so much more! Buckle Up for this embarrassingly funny episode!

Transcript
Jeffrey Paul:

Welcome everybody to who's your band?

Jeffrey Paul:

I am Jeffrey Paul.

Jeffrey Paul:

I am joined as usual with my co host, Sean Morton.

Jeffrey Paul:

How are you, Sean?

Sean Morton:

Wonderful, Jeffrey.

Sean Morton:

How was a great weekend and gigs?

Sean Morton:

How about yourself?

Jeffrey Paul:

What kind of gigs did you do?

Jeffrey Paul:

We'll talk about my weekend in a second.

Sean Morton:

I was on Long island all weekend.

Sean Morton:

I had two shows.

Sean Morton:

I had one in Patchogue and then one in the Stony Brook Yacht Club.

Jeffrey Paul:

How was that?

Sean Morton:

First night was very light.

Sean Morton:

Second night was really good.

Sean Morton:

It was a beautiful, beautiful venue.

Sean Morton:

Older crowd, you know, a lot of money, Obviously a yacht club.

Sean Morton:

So, you know, I.

Sean Morton:

Not my demographic normally.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think I did that gig a few years ago.

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, I say a few years ago.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm talking about over 10 years ago with Davin Rosenblatt and Rob Falcon.

Sean Morton:

Hmm.

Sean Morton:

It's a nice place, though.

Sean Morton:

It's around the water.

Sean Morton:

It was beautiful night.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, but it was good.

Jeffrey Paul:

Good weekend.

Sean Morton:

What about you?

Jeffrey Paul:

Well, this is the inspiration for this episode here.

Jeffrey Paul:

And we're gonna.

Jeffrey Paul:

And before I describe my weekend, I'm gonna bring in our guest right away.

Jeffrey Paul:

This guy is a really interesting dude, man.

Jeffrey Paul:

Audience.

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know because he's.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's not a comedian, he's not an actor, he's not a musician, but he.

Jeffrey Paul:

He knows everybody.

Jeffrey Paul:

He is involved in anything that's going on.

Jeffrey Paul:

This guy always seems to pop up, you know.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is Tom Borowski.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom, welcome to the show.

Tom Borowski:

Good evening, Jeff.

Jeffrey Paul:

So 111 year I'm up in Cooperstown and I'm up there with my friends and, you know, Lenny Dystor is there.

Jeffrey Paul:

And the first time I.

Jeffrey Paul:

He never was really around and he was excited to meet him.

Jeffrey Paul:

Mets, A, you know, huge meth fm.

Jeffrey Paul:

And we're all online, we get his autograph, you know, everything, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

The next day I'm looking at Facebook and Lenny D somehow is in Tom Borowski's house in his pool.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, how does this happen?

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, this is.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm looking at Facebook and this is one.

Jeffrey Paul:

You're like this Sean.

Jeffrey Paul:

And this is like during, I think a big Bruce tour.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then there's like a video or pictures going around.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think it was Bruce on Tom Borowski's shoulders.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom is carry carry.

Jeffrey Paul:

Is that true, Tom?

Jeffrey Paul:

Am I remembering that correctly?

Tom Borowski:

I.

Tom Borowski:

I sang most of Hungry Heart with him and ruined it for about 30,000 people.

Tom Borowski:

And I am not sorry at all.

Jeffrey Paul:

ese big moments, you know, in:

Jeffrey Paul:

Mets, Cubs.

Jeffrey Paul:

Who.

Jeffrey Paul:

Who's like their front and center, like, who they're showing, like, you know, reaction shots.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom Bowski.

Jeffrey Paul:

So this.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is who this guy is.

Tom Borowski:

All right.

Jeffrey Paul:

Amongst other.

Jeffrey Paul:

That he does as well.

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know if he wants to get into it, but we.

Jeffrey Paul:

We could talk about afterwards.

Jeffrey Paul:

You don't care, but do you ask me about my weekend?

Jeffrey Paul:

Right, Sean?

Sean Morton:

Yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

Here's my weekend.

Jeffrey Paul:

Humbling is probably, like, the softest adjective I can use to describe it.

Sean Morton:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

All right.

Jeffrey Paul:

So you.

Jeffrey Paul:

You really start to figure out who you are and how age catches up to you.

Jeffrey Paul:

So Tom says, hey, Jeff, why don't you come and play in this baseball tournament?

Jeffrey Paul:

And I'm like, well, you know, Tom, I played baseball once in the last 46 years, okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

And, you know, it kind of hurt me for over a month, Literally, like, walking, my back, everything.

Jeffrey Paul:

You're like, no, no, this will be good for you.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, I'm like an idiot.

Jeffrey Paul:

I listen to him.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

How's the competition?

Jeffrey Paul:

Not bad, not bad.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's easy.

Jeffrey Paul:

Easier than Florida.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

Wrong, wrong.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, guys in the minor leagues, intensity.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, everyone's in a men's league because the last time they played was 24 hours ago.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

The first day, I think I may have struck out.

Jeffrey Paul:

If I was up five times, I struck out four of them.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then the last time was.

Jeffrey Paul:

This was the humiliating part, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

And I kind of.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm starting to get a clue, okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

I hit it like a bull.

Jeffrey Paul:

That was hit pretty good.

Jeffrey Paul:

But I hit it down, foul.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm feeling good about myself, you know, I'm like.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think I.

Jeffrey Paul:

Maybe I have a shot here.

Jeffrey Paul:

Maybe I'll pick it up some point during the weekend.

Jeffrey Paul:

But no, no, no.

Jeffrey Paul:

It happens to me.

Jeffrey Paul:

Inside pitch, okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

Hits me, but it hits the bat first, so I don't even get the base, okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

I get a strike.

Jeffrey Paul:

It busts my finger.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, Look, I.

Jeffrey Paul:

Look at my.

Jeffrey Paul:

Look at my hand.

Jeffrey Paul:

Look at my finger, okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

It busts my finger, okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

And I think on the next pitch, I strike out.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then I'm unable to play in the tournament, but the team winds up winning the whole thing.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, Well, I should have been wearing a sundress and pom poms, okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

Because I was a cheerleader on Saturday.

Jeffrey Paul:

That was my weekend.

Sean Morton:

Oh.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom, is anything I'm saying even remotely wrong?

Tom Borowski:

I mean, you're about 85% accurate.

Tom Borowski:

I think you gave a very, very, I would say grandiose version of what you did when you.

Tom Borowski:

When you got hit on the hands.

Tom Borowski:

I think the pitch was basically right over the plate.

Tom Borowski:

You swung at it as hard as you could.

Tom Borowski:

I was.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, it looked like a decent swing, except you brought your hands across the plate, and instead of hitting it with the bat, you hit it with your knuckles.

Tom Borowski:

I give you a lot of credit for staying in there and finishing the at bat.

Tom Borowski:

Steve Lyons, our coach, you know, longtime major leaguer.

Tom Borowski:

They call him Psycho, by the way.

Tom Borowski:

Steve Psycho Lyons is like, I think that guy broke his hand.

Tom Borowski:

He's like, how is he even still standing up there?

Tom Borowski:

I could see it swelling from here instantaneously.

Tom Borowski:

It was like, stay puffed, marshmallow man.

Tom Borowski:

Your hand started like, like growing.

Tom Borowski:

And I know you had a little bit of the Henry Rowan Gartner hand the next day where, you know, you couldn't bend your hand, couldn't.

Tom Borowski:

Couldn't make a fist.

Tom Borowski:

Probably couldn't wipe your.

Tom Borowski:

I don't know if I could say that, but probably couldn't wipe your rear end for a few days.

Tom Borowski:

Hope you got, you know, a bidet in your house or whatever it is you do.

Tom Borowski:

But your.

Tom Borowski:

Your hand was definitely out of commission.

Tom Borowski:

But in a way, you shortened our lineup, so you did help the team in.

Tom Borowski:

In that way.

Jeffrey Paul:

Interpretation of what that means, Sean, is me not playing and getting a bat helped our team win.

Sean Morton:

I understand this, Jeff.

Sean Morton:

I understand.

Sean Morton:

It's kind of like if you had a bail off of a show and the show is like an amazing freaking life changing comedy show, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, you have this all star lineup and like, listen, guys, I'm stuck in traffic.

Jeffrey Paul:

Hey, listen, we don't want you getting hurt, you know?

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, whatever time you get here, that's great.

Jeffrey Paul:

If you don't make it.

Jeffrey Paul:

Listen, don't worry about it.

Jeffrey Paul:

We'll.

Jeffrey Paul:

We'll still pay it.

Jeffrey Paul:

We'll still pay it, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

Has anything like that ever happened to you?

Sean Morton:

I've had some weird happen.

Sean Morton:

Like, my, My buddy used to always break my chops about going and bringing my, my glove to baseball games.

Sean Morton:

And you know, the one time we went and Jeter threw me a ball and he got really pissed off.

Sean Morton:

So the next time we went to Camden Yards, I didn't want to hear his voice anymore.

Sean Morton:

So I was like, all right, look, you know what?

Sean Morton:

Fine.

Sean Morton:

I'm leaving the glove in the, in the, in the room.

Sean Morton:

And we went to right field, and we're in batting practice, and I'm like, oh, Johnny Damon hit a rocket right towards us.

Sean Morton:

And I'm like, why don't you make my glove?

Sean Morton:

And I put my hand up and He.

Sean Morton:

I mean, it got me.

Sean Morton:

I mean, my, my thumb went from like a normal sized thumb to five times the size within five seconds.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like it just shattered.

Jeffrey Paul:

Hurts.

Sean Morton:

Just shattered.

Jeffrey Paul:

Hurts.

Sean Morton:

That's why I always hated Johnny Damon.

Sean Morton:

Even when he was on, even when he was a Yankee.

Sean Morton:

I always hated his guts because of that.

Sean Morton:

I mean, I've had some, some weird shit happen, you know, like I was making a list before of like all these like embarrassing moments.

Sean Morton:

I mean, I sang in a band for a long time, so like there was.

Sean Morton:

I'll never forget one time, one of the times that I fell off stage.

Sean Morton:

It was a high age.

Sean Morton:

It was.

Jeffrey Paul:

What's your name?

Jeffrey Paul:

Coleman Green.

Sean Morton:

Oh, dude, it was bad.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was really bad.

Jeffrey Paul:

By the way, have you ever seen that video?

Sean Morton:

Oh, I saved it.

Jeffrey Paul:

I have it down.

Sean Morton:

I've jerked off to that video.

Sean Morton:

Like that's.

Sean Morton:

Then that's one of my favorite videos of all time.

Jeffrey Paul:

This Comic Con.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's a sweet guy, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

I would say.

Jeffrey Paul:

Would you say he's about maybe 395, eight black guy, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, Coleman Green, you know, be the prototypical nose guard if he was a football player.

Jeffrey Paul:

But just.

Jeffrey Paul:

But he, he does look like a, like, like a, like a peanut Eminem, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

That, that is his body shape.

Jeffrey Paul:

And there's a video of him like, he's.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's talking, keeps moving back, and it's a really small stage and he just like, he's taking like the Nestle's plunge.

Jeffrey Paul:

He just falls, you know, feet up in the air.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's hysterical.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think it's like a turtle, because he can't get up, he's walking.

Tom Borowski:

Talk about.

Tom Borowski:

Jeff, can we talk about how you showed up to this tournament?

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes, go ahead.

Sean Morton:

We'll go back to it then.

Tom Borowski:

Well, I mean, I just know another thing you left out is you showed up a day late, big timing, everybody, everybody's there were knee deep into this tournament.

Tom Borowski:

You come rolling in late at night, wheeling like an expensive baseball bag that I kind of get the feeling just came from Dick Sporting goods might have still had tags on it.

Tom Borowski:

You got sunglasses on, you're waving your hand like Roger Dorn and you walk in, you know, making an impression.

Tom Borowski:

Everybody's like, oh, take a look at this guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

Who?

Jeffrey Paul:

This guy?

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, you know, I mean, Browski has another guy showing up.

Tom Borowski:

So.

Tom Borowski:

So you get to the first game and we give you a shot to play a little second base.

Tom Borowski:

And early in the game you get your first opportunity, maybe even may, I might even say it was the first Hitter since you entered the game, hits a ground ball right to you.

Tom Borowski:

I don't think I remember that going too well for you.

Tom Borowski:

I was just telling, I was just telling Steve Lyons, listen, the guy will catch the ball, he'll throw the ball.

Tom Borowski:

Not sure about him at the plate, but, you know, I've seen him play catch.

Tom Borowski:

There's another guy on our team, Joe Gorglione, works out with him a little bit.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he's going to make, you know, the basic plays.

Tom Borowski:

Slow hit, ground ball right to you, got in your glove.

Tom Borowski:

I was pretty happy about that.

Tom Borowski:

You know, you grimaced a little bit, you know, snarled your teeth, dig the ball out of your, out of your brand new mid or whatever it was and went to throw to first and threw it about what, 20, 30ft wide?

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I threw a pretty wide.

Jeffrey Paul:

Well, here's what happened on that one.

Jeffrey Paul:

All right.

Tom Borowski:

Better.

Tom Borowski:

You were.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, it was, it was a, it had like a little bit of a spin on it and I didn't know whether I should feel it with my glove or my bare hand.

Jeffrey Paul:

I bare handed it.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's what he did.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I, and I thought like in my head I still thought like, hey, man, I'm.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm 20 something year old, Jeff.

Jeffrey Paul:

I could bare hand it and make the side arm throw.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I bare handed it.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

I was afraid.

Jeffrey Paul:

I didn't want to.

Jeffrey Paul:

I didn't want to like drop the ball, but I didn't.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then I made a completely wide.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think I threw it back to home.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's how wide I think this ball went.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, it was pretty wide.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, it was, it was a.

Jeffrey Paul:

Listen, it wasn't a good weekend.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was the only, it wasn't a good.

Jeffrey Paul:

The only thing that went well for me was I did get kind of a joke out of the finger and I.

Jeffrey Paul:

That night on Saturday, I was at Laugh it Up at Cal's place, which.

Jeffrey Paul:

Sure, Morton's going to be on New Year's Eve this year.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes, these people listening.

Jeffrey Paul:

But yeah, I wound up doing a joke on it right up on top and it went pretty well.

Jeffrey Paul:

So at least the comment.

Sean Morton:

I debuted a new, a new bit this weekend too, actually, for the first time since I'm after the special is out, I'm going to be doing a new hour on the road.

Sean Morton:

So I wrote this bit the day before and it's basically how, how I messed up.

Jeffrey Paul:

How I messed up a ball at second, how he swung out a ball over the plate, but Tom was the ball over the plate.

Jeffrey Paul:

I thought it was Inside.

Tom Borowski:

It was a strike.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was an inside strike.

Sean Morton:

Since you're a couple years older than me, how our generation, our age group has it the worst because we are entirely too old to be woke and we are entirely too young to be old and crotchety and complain about stuff.

Sean Morton:

But I still have a lot that I want to complain about, but I'm too young.

Sean Morton:

So now all I'm doing now is saying whatever the fuck I want, but I'm just telling people that I'm autistic.

Jeffrey Paul:

I would believe you're autistic.

Sean Morton:

I think I am.

Sean Morton:

I really am.

Sean Morton:

Slightly.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, you have the hair.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, that's autistic hair.

Sean Morton:

It's just short hair.

Jeffrey Paul:

You.

Jeffrey Paul:

That and comfortable shoes make you autistic.

Sean Morton:

I have comfortable.

Jeffrey Paul:

I wear.

Sean Morton:

No, I wear expensive.

Sean Morton:

I wear expensive Nikes.

Sean Morton:

I don't wear comfortable New Balances.

Sean Morton:

You know what I mean?

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

Either that or you're a lesbian.

Sean Morton:

This is not a Skecher's house, you know what I mean?

Sean Morton:

I may look like Mike Keegan, but I don't wear the same sneakers.

Sean Morton:

You know what I mean?

Jeffrey Paul:

I do, but.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom.

Jeffrey Paul:

But this is the.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is the part like he figured you.

Jeffrey Paul:

You kind.

Jeffrey Paul:

You're my friend.

Jeffrey Paul:

You're gonna pump me up a little bit.

Jeffrey Paul:

Was there a second ball hit to me?

Tom Borowski:

Yes, there was an even slower hit, ground ball by their nine hitter.

Tom Borowski:

And I think that was.

Tom Borowski:

I think that was a gentleman named Larry.

Tom Borowski:

You know, the average age on these teams are somewhere, you know, between the late 30s to early 40s.

Tom Borowski:

Guys are in good shape.

Tom Borowski:

Like Jeff said, ex college players, minor leaguers, some Mensley guys.

Tom Borowski:

This was their 70 year old man.

Tom Borowski:

Might have been someone's dad or granddad.

Tom Borowski:

So, I mean, he was, you know, he was really busting it out of the box, but, you know, he wasn't going too quick.

Tom Borowski:

Jeff Field did it cleanly.

Tom Borowski:

Everyone on our side said, stop, plant your feet.

Tom Borowski:

And Jeff threw a strike to the first baseman.

Tom Borowski:

It was ass out by, by about 30ft.

Tom Borowski:

You know, the defibrillator was ready in case if he actually tried to run, but.

Tom Borowski:

But you recorded the album.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, and I think I may have done like double guns.

Tom Borowski:

You did.

Tom Borowski:

You definitely did.

Jeffrey Paul:

I could shoot him a gallon there, Tom.

Jeffrey Paul:

So Sean, I don't know if you know this about.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom is the owner of Black Betty's.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

You've been there before, I know that.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom is the owner of Black Betty's.

Jeffrey Paul:

You've gone down before and you've done comedy there.

Jeffrey Paul:

Black Betty's is Comedy is kind of like.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's kind of like the kumata of, of the comedy world.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's underground.

Jeffrey Paul:

Nobody's supposed to know about.

Jeffrey Paul:

We don't talk about it.

Jeffrey Paul:

And if it comes up, you all deny it.

Jeffrey Paul:

All right?

Sean Morton:

Yeah, but I love when they post pictures of it and then there's pictures that are always posted of like the open mics and the shows and stuff.

Sean Morton:

And I've been there and every time I see the posts and my face doesn't make the picture, I'm a little happy.

Sean Morton:

So I don't admit to it either.

Jeffrey Paul:

Sean, I don't know if you ever went upstairs to.

Sean Morton:

No, Jeff, I've never been upstairs at Black Betty.

Jeffrey Paul:

I've never.

Jeffrey Paul:

I've never.

Sean Morton:

I live in.

Sean Morton:

I live.

Sean Morton:

I live four minutes from there.

Sean Morton:

No, I know, but there's a lot.

Jeffrey Paul:

Of flashing lights, and for the autistic, the flashing lights are a problem.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, it kind of sets them off.

Jeffrey Paul:

You're kind of like one of those gremlins.

Jeffrey Paul:

I didn't know if you can handle the upstairs.

Jeffrey Paul:

I never seen you up there.

Sean Morton:

I'm looking at different.

Sean Morton:

Yes, I'm okay.

Sean Morton:

I'm looking at fried eggs.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

So, Tom, what was it?

Jeffrey Paul:

Kind of like a weird thing, embarrassing thing that.

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, there had to be something embarrassing that's happened at Black Betty that you've been part of.

Jeffrey Paul:

And by the way, for those of you that show what Black Betty is, it's kind of like a rock and roll strip club.

Sean Morton:

Yes.

Tom Borowski:

Well, there was the time we had the abc, a cop and a social worker show up asking us where we keep our cages.

Tom Borowski:

That wasn't really very pleasant.

Jeffrey Paul:

Your cages?

Tom Borowski:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

So, you know, you know, the abc, you know, they kind of deal a lot with complaints.

Tom Borowski:

And usually, I mean, 99% of complaints against places like ours are pretty much bullshit.

Tom Borowski:

You know, we had a probably disgruntled employee or some.

Tom Borowski:

Some woman's husband or ex husband or baby daddy or take your pick, you know, makes a phone call and says, we have underage girls that were imprisoning on.

Tom Borowski:

On site and forcing them to work there and doing all kinds of crazy.

Tom Borowski:

Of course, none of that is true.

Tom Borowski:

We would, we would charge way extra for that.

Tom Borowski:

But, you know, basically, you know, we had everybody show up all at the same time by surprise.

Tom Borowski:

Thankfully, I was there.

Tom Borowski:

l worker, I mean, this was in:

Tom Borowski:

So the social worker who is a middle aged black woman with a crew cut, as you may call autistic hair, I don't know.

Tom Borowski:

But she did.

Jeffrey Paul:

She resembles Sean in any way?

Tom Borowski:

It was tough to tell with the mask she had on.

Tom Borowski:

That's how I know it was 20, 21.

Tom Borowski:

It's right after the shutdown came to an end.

Tom Borowski:

But do you have a mask that.

Jeffrey Paul:

You could put on?

Sean Morton:

Do I hold his hand?

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, put your hand over your face.

Jeffrey Paul:

Just want to see if you look like an autistic black woman.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

I could see it a little pale.

Tom Borowski:

He's a little pal.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's.

Tom Borowski:

It's not quite same look.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, but I, I, you know, I didn't know what was serious or not.

Tom Borowski:

She, you know, she told me her name was Cherry Bottoms.

Tom Borowski:

Swear to God.

Tom Borowski:

And I guess the right answer to that comment was not, is that your stage name?

Jeffrey Paul:

Did you say that to her?

Tom Borowski:

I did in my head.

Tom Borowski:

But.

Sean Morton:

But Jeff.

Sean Morton:

When Jeff goes to his special club in New York, he's actually called Sloppy Bottoms.

Sean Morton:

I don't know if you knew that or not.

Tom Borowski:

That's when he works at the Manhole.

Tom Borowski:

I know that club.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes, yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

A lot of people don't know that about me.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, Happy party about it.

Sean Morton:

Anyway.

Jeffrey Paul:

After Sean had to interrupt with that awful joke.

Jeffrey Paul:

Go ahead.

Tom Borowski:

I mean.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, I.

Tom Borowski:

I could wrap that one up pretty quickly.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, it was.

Tom Borowski:

It was basically.

Tom Borowski:

It was open and shut, you know, but we had to.

Tom Borowski:

We had to cut the music, turn the lights on.

Tom Borowski:

I got, you know, you know, a guy in a suit, you know, a cop with a gun and.

Tom Borowski:

And cherry bottoms walking around asking people questions, asking the girls if they've ever been Locke up in a cage.

Tom Borowski:

Like ridiculous things, you know, And I had to stand there.

Tom Borowski:

I'm like, there's no cages, Cherry.

Tom Borowski:

No cages.

Tom Borowski:

But what about upstairs?

Tom Borowski:

You know, I want to go upstairs with the girls alone.

Tom Borowski:

And then she asked the cop to come up, as if we're going to, like, throw her out the window or something.

Tom Borowski:

It was.

Tom Borowski:

The whole thing was a, you know, a charade, I should say.

Tom Borowski:

It was all a joke, was all.

Tom Borowski:

It was all laughable.

Tom Borowski:

But there were.

Tom Borowski:

There were some things, you know, I probably shouldn't share for, you know, for legalities.

Tom Borowski:

But, you know, there were a lot of really rough questions they asked the girls in front of us.

Tom Borowski:

Thankfully, none of the girls had an infamy that day.

Tom Borowski:

Answered everything the right way, and we got them out of there.

Tom Borowski:

That was, you know, that wasn't.

Tom Borowski:

That wasn't our best day there.

Tom Borowski:

You know, we've had.

Tom Borowski:

We've had a couple of.

Tom Borowski:

We've had a couple embarrassing things, you know, we had.

Tom Borowski:

We had the time that we were threatened by, you know, some guy in Iraq, you know, telling us he was gonna, you know, he was declaring a jihad on us.

Tom Borowski:

That is a true story.

Tom Borowski:

There's no joke here.

Tom Borowski:

You know about that one, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

No, but how's that.

Jeffrey Paul:

But the thing is, how is this embarrassing?

Tom Borowski:

Well, I mean, it happened in front of the Internet.

Sean Morton:

Awesome.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, it's awesome.

Sean Morton:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

These are good things, but it's not embarrassing.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's not as embarrassing.

Tom Borowski:

You know, you have everybody walk in the bar, you got cherry bottoms, walking around with a cop, you know, who's, you know, looking to, like, you know, free the little kids from Temple of Doom or whatever he thinks he's doing, you know.

Tom Borowski:

You know, they asked my shift manager.

Jeffrey Paul:

The sir I'm trying to find was, you ever have anybody go into, like, the lap dance room?

Jeffrey Paul:

They come out and they have like a big like, like milky circle around their fly area.

Jeffrey Paul:

And they're walking around, they don't realize it.

Tom Borowski:

I'm going to plead the fifth on this one.

Jeffrey Paul:

The guy just expels in his pants and just continues.

Jeffrey Paul:

Have you ever got, by the way, have you ever gone to and done comedy out in the Midwest, Sean?

Sean Morton:

Virginia?

Sean Morton:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

When you go out there, Tom, they have like, clubs like yours, but they'll have like lunch specials, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

So I'm out and I'm doing a weekend with this guy, and we're together Thursday through Sunday.

Jeffrey Paul:

So it's one of those type of runs, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

And, you know, we wind up.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's like, hey, let's.

Jeffrey Paul:

Let's go to lunch.

Jeffrey Paul:

I know, I know a place.

Jeffrey Paul:

So it winds up being like, you know, strip club, but, you know, it's.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's a nice place.

Tom Borowski:

They have a lunch after the steak, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, well, we.

Jeffrey Paul:

We order burgers, you know, he says, the burger here is good.

Jeffrey Paul:

He.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's wearing just what, he's wearing sweatpants.

Jeffrey Paul:

He goes, I'll be right back.

Jeffrey Paul:

He goes to get a lap dance.

Jeffrey Paul:

He comes back and he shot a load.

Jeffrey Paul:

He eats his hamburger, go.

Jeffrey Paul:

He drinks a beer, goes back, gets another lap dance, shoots another load.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I'm like, what, what, what's.

Jeffrey Paul:

What do you do?

Jeffrey Paul:

He goes, the thing is, you'll wear this sweatpants and you don't wear under air underneath, because that's the only thing that's separating you from you and the girl.

Jeffrey Paul:

So it feels more sensual.

Jeffrey Paul:

I go, pretty.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's pretty nasty.

Jeffrey Paul:

Goes, nah, it's not nasty.

Jeffrey Paul:

Go back to the hotel and you take a shower.

Tom Borowski:

What Kind of pills.

Tom Borowski:

Oh, I was gonna say, what kind of pills is he taking?

Tom Borowski:

That he's shooting double loads while eating a hamburger?

Tom Borowski:

That's pretty crazy right there.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, he had a great sex drive.

Jeffrey Paul:

I almost envied this guy.

Sean Morton:

25 years ago, we used to go to this bar called AJ's in Sea Caucus, which I think is still open.

Sean Morton:

They used to do comedy in the little room to the side of it called the Blue Room, right?

Sean Morton:

But my friend Anthony, we call him Squid because he is a little slimy and greasy in Italian.

Sean Morton:

So he's been Squid since high school.

Sean Morton:

He is an aficionado of getting lap dances.

Sean Morton:

That is his thing.

Sean Morton:

And one time we went there, it was me, him, and my friend Joe.

Sean Morton:

And as soon as we walked in, like, within five minutes, he's gone, right?

Sean Morton:

And we're not even.

Sean Morton:

Not even paying attention.

Sean Morton:

We go to the bar, we're having a drink.

Sean Morton:

It was like.

Sean Morton:

I think it was Monday Night Football was something.

Sean Morton:

We were just having a good time.

Sean Morton:

It's like an hour and 15 minutes later, and we're like, Squid.

Sean Morton:

And, like, as we just turn our heads, and then all of a sudden, we see him, like, walking, his shirts all ripped open, his hair's all up.

Sean Morton:

I'm like, how many lap dances did you get?

Sean Morton:

24.

Sean Morton:

So Jesus Christ, how many girls did you go with?

Sean Morton:

You know, one.

Sean Morton:

$480 in lap from one chick in an hour and 15 minutes.

Sean Morton:

That's a good.

Sean Morton:

Let me tell you, that's a good girl, man.

Sean Morton:

Who can.

Sean Morton:

Who can keep a guy going for an hour?

Jeffrey Paul:

He.

Jeffrey Paul:

He must have been like, roar.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, raw and chafed.

Jeffrey Paul:

No, he was.

Sean Morton:

He was an animal.

Sean Morton:

He was an absolute animal.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, his bachelor party was.

Sean Morton:

Was just gross.

Sean Morton:

It was.

Sean Morton:

It was like.

Sean Morton:

It was back when I think.

Sean Morton:

I think Craigslist had just started because we got married.

Sean Morton:

He got married, like, I'm like, 19 years ago.

Sean Morton:

Whatever.

Sean Morton:

So, like, Craigslist was just getting going and the.

Sean Morton:

The worst.

Sean Morton:

I mean, I guess.

Sean Morton:

I guess there were hookers.

Sean Morton:

I mean, I guess there were hookers, but they did, like, those.

Jeffrey Paul:

They have sex for money.

Sean Morton:

They were just going out of each other.

Sean Morton:

You know what I mean?

Sean Morton:

Like, none of us.

Jeffrey Paul:

Because they may have been hookers then.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom, do you remember?

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know if you were there.

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know if Tom was there, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

But it was at his place.

Jeffrey Paul:

So there's a comics league, fantasy football.

Jeffrey Paul:

I know you're a big, fancy football, Sean, and if you want next year, I'll try and get you into the league.

Jeffrey Paul:

But.

Jeffrey Paul:

But we had.

Jeffrey Paul:

We had a draft there and then, and Tom was nice to provide us three girls.

Jeffrey Paul:

And, you know, I.

Jeffrey Paul:

There had to be at least two felonies committed downstairs in that room.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was insane.

Jeffrey Paul:

Mike Keegan was that.

Jeffrey Paul:

You're going to see Mike Keegan, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

You just saw him.

Jeffrey Paul:

He would have been like, oh, yeah, he.

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, he's like the devil just sitting there, making it rain.

Jeffrey Paul:

Lawrence deloach, Kenny Warren, he's.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's getting.

Jeffrey Paul:

Lick that.

Jeffrey Paul:

Lick that.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's like the real, like, you know, black guy from the city.

Jeffrey Paul:

Lick that.

Jeffrey Paul:

That became the name of the league.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

Lick that.

Tom Borowski:

Is that the event?

Tom Borowski:

Was that the event where one of the naked girls ripped one of the heavier guys shirts off and rode him around like a rhino?

Tom Borowski:

Yes, it was a.

Tom Borowski:

I had some.

Jeffrey Paul:

Nightmares after that, I think.

Jeffrey Paul:

So.

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, but there were three girls, and they were going to town on one.

Jeffrey Paul:

Holy shit.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was great.

Jeffrey Paul:

They still talk about this draft, and we tried to get it together so we could have it again there this year, but, you know, fucking Keegan, he can't do shit.

Jeffrey Paul:

One more thing about the weekend, Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

I saw one of the, like, the douchiest things.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, so it's the Saturday game, and it's the game that's going to put us into the championship if we win.

Jeffrey Paul:

And it was really like.

Jeffrey Paul:

Out of all, like, like, games I've watched that, you know, that's played by guys.

Jeffrey Paul:

It really was one of the most intense games.

Jeffrey Paul:

Real great pitches, duel, one guy out of his mind, crazy.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's the pitcher on our team.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's kind of like.

Jeffrey Paul:

He had.

Jeffrey Paul:

He had a UFC mentality.

Jeffrey Paul:

He looked like a UFC fighter.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

Almost.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, almost Got thrown out of the league the day before for fighting with an umpire against this other guy who Tom said was part of the White Sox organization.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

So, I mean, that.

Jeffrey Paul:

That.

Jeffrey Paul:

That.

Jeffrey Paul:

Matching zeros.

Jeffrey Paul:

Matching zeros.

Jeffrey Paul:

And we're in the eighth inning, and our guy is clearly getting tired, but, man, he is a competitor.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's not.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's.

Jeffrey Paul:

You would have to shoot him before you took him out of this game.

Jeffrey Paul:

And they're trying to figure out, should they take him out or keep him in.

Jeffrey Paul:

So Lions makes the decision, goes, no, I.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm keeping him in.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then our third baseman.

Jeffrey Paul:

This was supposed to be like the Rudy moment, like the bell, like, you know, the Rocky moment.

Jeffrey Paul:

That thing, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, this is going to inspire everybody.

Jeffrey Paul:

He goes, the ball pen's calling, but nobody's answering.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I just looked at him.

Jeffrey Paul:

I looked at him, I went, yuck.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, that's pretty inspired.

Jeffrey Paul:

Nobody.

Jeffrey Paul:

Nobody cared.

Jeffrey Paul:

He just stood there with this fucking dumb saying after that, and he.

Jeffrey Paul:

After I said yuck.

Jeffrey Paul:

And he knew that this was a stinkeroo and it just stayed in the dugout.

Jeffrey Paul:

Did you see that, Tom?

Tom Borowski:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

I just chose not to acknowledge it.

Tom Borowski:

It was better to just walk away.

Tom Borowski:

Let him stand in it for a second.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, man.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think my life is filled with these type of things.

Jeffrey Paul:

I remember one time I went to, like, the movies with this girl.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, I was living in Staten island and the girl I was dating lived in Brooklyn and I was in high school, so, yeah, I wasn't even driving yet.

Jeffrey Paul:

So, like, I would get dropped off from Brooklyn and stay at my cousin's house and go out with this girl.

Jeffrey Paul:

Do you remember there would be like the midnight movies that, you know, remember?

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, it would always be like either the Rocky Horror show or something like that.

Jeffrey Paul:

You guys remember this?

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, so.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, so at this point, at this time, it was the song Remains the Same, right?

Sean Morton:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's a Song Remains the Same.

Jeffrey Paul:

I go.

Jeffrey Paul:

I go to see that with the girl and I'm trying to.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm going to be like the funny guy, you know, like, no one's going to out funny me, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, it's just me and her.

Jeffrey Paul:

And there's a scene and Song Remains the Same where this girl is in a castle.

Jeffrey Paul:

She's beautiful and she's like, she's waiting for Robert Plant and Rob Plant is coming on his horse.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then there's this.

Jeffrey Paul:

The girls in the castle.

Jeffrey Paul:

And she takes off her.

Jeffrey Paul:

Not a top, but like, you know, like a little jacket.

Jeffrey Paul:

And she's just wearing like this negligent, you know, this, but it's like a medieval negligee.

Jeffrey Paul:

And she looks really hot.

Jeffrey Paul:

And Robin Plant is getting a little closer.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then she, like, comes and she puts a little perfume on.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then Robert Plant comes in and he busts open the door, okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

And then he goes.

Jeffrey Paul:

And she falls on the bed.

Jeffrey Paul:

And at that moment, this guy in the audience yells, fucker.

Jeffrey Paul:

Brings out Robert.

Jeffrey Paul:

And everybody starts cracking up.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I'm like, fuck, I got to top this guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

So then I yell out, yeah, make clumsies.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, nothing, nothing.

Jeffrey Paul:

Silence.

Jeffrey Paul:

And the girl turns to me and goes, shut up, Jeff.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's embarrassing.

Sean Morton:

That's pretty bad, Jeff.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's pretty bad.

Tom Borowski:

Is there a second date?

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

Listen, when you have the confidence, we're.

Sean Morton:

Married 40 years now, so.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then Terry said.

Tom Borowski:

That'S great.

Jeffrey Paul:

No.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, man, that was.

Jeffrey Paul:

That was bad.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, I thought.

Jeffrey Paul:

I thought.

Jeffrey Paul:

I.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, I thought this was, like, on the team, man.

Jeffrey Paul:

I thought this was, like, yo, easy, I'm.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm gonna slam.

Jeffrey Paul:

I.

Jeffrey Paul:

I thought this was the funniest line.

Jeffrey Paul:

And nothing.

Jeffrey Paul:

Just people in the audience, like, as a believer.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's that the guy who said that.

Sean Morton:

Before you even started doing.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, even before I started my comedy career, I was bombing.

Jeffrey Paul:

I bought.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, that was brutal.

Jeffrey Paul:

That was brutal.

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know, man.

Sean Morton:

That's a rough one.

Jeffrey Paul:

That is.

Jeffrey Paul:

That is.

Jeffrey Paul:

That is a rough one.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

But it just.

Jeffrey Paul:

All this stuff started coming back to me because of this weekend.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

It.

Tom Borowski:

Was it that rough?

Tom Borowski:

You.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

Went home with a.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

Home with a championship bat.

Tom Borowski:

You were part of the winning team.

Tom Borowski:

You know, you got to high five guys.

Jeffrey Paul:

I didn't.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

I had to high five them with my left hand.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

I couldn't even do with my right hand, so already it's awkward.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I look like a spaz as I'm doing it because I'm a dominant righty.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

I did nothing to earn this bad.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then everyone's taking pictures, like, I'm telling you.

Jeffrey Paul:

This was such a good team.

Jeffrey Paul:

Everybody contributed on this team except for me and this other guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

Know who it was?

Jeffrey Paul:

Do you know.

Jeffrey Paul:

Do you know Eric To Taglion?

Sean Morton:

Of course I know Eric.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

His brother was on this team.

Sean Morton:

Okay.

Sean Morton:

Does he have a horrible to pay as well?

Jeffrey Paul:

Is he.

Sean Morton:

I.

Sean Morton:

I don't know.

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know if he was horrible.

Sean Morton:

Have a horrible toupee as well.

Jeffrey Paul:

Well, come on.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's.

Tom Borowski:

That's.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's a drill here.

Jeffrey Paul:

Don't do that.

Jeffrey Paul:

No.

Jeffrey Paul:

Come on, everyone.

Tom Borowski:

Mark got injured the day before you and wasn't able to go after that, so at least you had someone to talk to in the dugout.

Jeffrey Paul:

Was he.

Jeffrey Paul:

Was he really that banged up?

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, with the first base.

Tom Borowski:

The coach pride was probably really stinging after that first day.

Jeffrey Paul:

What happened to him?

Tom Borowski:

You know, I mean, who can say?

Tom Borowski:

I mean, he says.

Tom Borowski:

He says he pulled a muscle in one leg, but he's maybe limping on the other.

Tom Borowski:

I don't know.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he said he couldn't go.

Tom Borowski:

We weren't complaining, you know?

Tom Borowski:

You know, he definitely helped out.

Tom Borowski:

He warmed up some pitchers in between innings.

Tom Borowski:

He kept you busy in the dugout.

Jeffrey Paul:

He did.

Tom Borowski:

You know.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he was.

Tom Borowski:

He was a team guy.

Tom Borowski:

You know, I mean, actually, he had a couple.

Tom Borowski:

He had a Couple hits.

Tom Borowski:

He had.

Tom Borowski:

He had a couple hits.

Tom Borowski:

The first day we were winning 11 to one.

Tom Borowski:

They brought in somebody to, you know, basically mop up.

Tom Borowski:

And, you know, Mark got some swings in.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he had.

Tom Borowski:

He had a moment or two, and then he was out for the rest of the weekend.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

The sad part is I wasn't even him.

Tom Borowski:

You made that throw.

Tom Borowski:

Did that throw you throughout?

Tom Borowski:

Larry?

Tom Borowski:

I didn't have a heart attack.

Jeffrey Paul:

Was it, Larry.

Tom Borowski:

Oh, you know.

Tom Borowski:

You know what, Mark, you were talking about embarrassing moments.

Tom Borowski:

Were you?

Tom Borowski:

That you were at the game where they threw Mark out of the game.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes, yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

That was hysterical.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, I don't know if it was hysterical.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was funny for.

Jeffrey Paul:

For, like, you know, guys playing baseball.

Jeffrey Paul:

Funny.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

All right.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, listen.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm around professional comedians all the time, and I think our level of what's hysterical is kind of like a little different.

Jeffrey Paul:

And you're.

Jeffrey Paul:

And you're also around.

Jeffrey Paul:

And you're also around John Kershner and Matt Bridgestone.

Jeffrey Paul:

So.

Jeffrey Paul:

Come on.

Sean Morton:

Why do you hate John Kirsch?

Sean Morton:

Before?

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't like his hat.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's a grown man.

Jeffrey Paul:

He has to wear a baseball hat all the time.

Sean Morton:

You always wear baseball hats.

Jeffrey Paul:

I never wear a baseball hat except when I'm playing baseball.

Sean Morton:

How many times have I seen you wearing a dumb fucking baseball hat on the show?

Jeffrey Paul:

Never.

Sean Morton:

Never.

Sean Morton:

Really?

Jeffrey Paul:

I never wear a baseball hat.

Sean Morton:

I'm gonna pull up.

Sean Morton:

There's been about 13 episodes.

Sean Morton:

I can't remember you wearing a dumb baseball hat.

Jeffrey Paul:

No, no, no, I'm not.

Tom Borowski:

If you're talking about embarrassing moments, remember when Lenny Dykstra asked to autograph your hat that you were wearing, even though you say you don't wear hats, you refused it.

Jeffrey Paul:

First of all, was that when we were at filming the Lenny Dykestra short.

Tom Borowski:

Yes, you were filming the short.

Tom Borowski:

And he asked if you wanted.

Tom Borowski:

If he.

Tom Borowski:

He had the marker in his hand, the brim in his other hand.

Tom Borowski:

And he's like, you want me to sign this for you?

Tom Borowski:

And you're like, no, that's okay.

Tom Borowski:

And he's like, you sure on the inside?

Tom Borowski:

And you're like, no, no, I'm good.

Tom Borowski:

I'm good.

Jeffrey Paul:

Don't.

Tom Borowski:

Don't touch my hat.

Tom Borowski:

And you took it and you walked out.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is what I remember.

Tom Borowski:

I've never seen that one before.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is why I remember with the hat.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think in one of the scenes, he had to wear a hat and I had to give him my hat.

Jeffrey Paul:

And he was sweating profusely.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then went to give it back.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I was like, no, that's okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

I didn't take the hat back.

Tom Borowski:

You took the hat back, but you refused the autograph.

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know.

Tom Borowski:

The Mets hat.

Tom Borowski:

What did I tell you about it later?

Tom Borowski:

I asked you about it later.

Tom Borowski:

I said, why don't you have him sign it?

Tom Borowski:

And you were like, I wear this hat.

Tom Borowski:

I don't want his autograph on it.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, I probably didn't listen.

Jeffrey Paul:

I have a Lenny Dicer baseball.

Jeffrey Paul:

I have a picture.

Jeffrey Paul:

I bought his dopey book, and he signed that.

Jeffrey Paul:

Although he did write something very nice inside of it.

Jeffrey Paul:

No, I mean, yeah, by the way.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, by the way, Sean, it's actually a good book.

Jeffrey Paul:

I read.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's a good read.

Jeffrey Paul:

I finished it.

Jeffrey Paul:

I can think in two days.

Tom Borowski:

Good.

Tom Borowski:

Correct.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, Sean, Tom, look at the hat he's wearing.

Sean Morton:

What.

Jeffrey Paul:

Why do we.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's not a Mets hat.

Tom Borowski:

It's an exposure.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

What do you.

Jeffrey Paul:

What do we think about guys who have expose hats?

Tom Borowski:

I mean, you're.

Tom Borowski:

You're trying to show your knowledge of baseball.

Tom Borowski:

It's a little, you know, edgy, right?

Tom Borowski:

The funk team, you know, you know, you're.

Tom Borowski:

You're.

Tom Borowski:

You're showing your knowledge of the game, your depth as a fan.

Jeffrey Paul:

No, it's not.

Jeffrey Paul:

It doesn't.

Jeffrey Paul:

None of that.

Jeffrey Paul:

Why are you.

Jeffrey Paul:

Why are you being, like, politically correct there?

Jeffrey Paul:

No, no.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom thinks like I do with this.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay?

Jeffrey Paul:

You go to.

Jeffrey Paul:

You.

Jeffrey Paul:

We'll go to, like, a Mets, Kansas City game.

Jeffrey Paul:

We went.

Jeffrey Paul:

We went to a game this year.

Jeffrey Paul:

Mets, Kansas City.

Jeffrey Paul:

As I'm walking in, okay, Mets are playing the Kansas City Royals.

Jeffrey Paul:

There's guy, okay, who has to be wearing an expose hat.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know why he's wearing that hat?

Jeffrey Paul:

Because he wants to show.

Jeffrey Paul:

Hey, man, I know a little bit more about baseball than the common guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

You pedestrian fans, they don't know baseball like me.

Jeffrey Paul:

Expose some people.

Jeffrey Paul:

What is that?

Jeffrey Paul:

I say?

Jeffrey Paul:

Montreal Expos.

Jeffrey Paul:

I know about this.

Sean Morton:

Maybe I got the fucking hat in Montreal.

Sean Morton:

And we all got Montreal tattoos.

Sean Morton:

So I got a fucking exposed tattoo on top of all of it.

Sean Morton:

Maybe your.

Sean Morton:

Maybe your analysis is.

Sean Morton:

I was a little fucking too deep, Jeff.

Sean Morton:

No, but I was just doing fucking guys weekend.

Sean Morton:

I spent $45 on a fucking dumb Expos.

Jeffrey Paul:

You want real analysis?

Jeffrey Paul:

Here's the analysis.

Jeffrey Paul:

You're a big fat, drunken guy with your friends.

Jeffrey Paul:

You went to a tattoo parlor and all of you.

Jeffrey Paul:

And you're drunk and stupid.

Jeffrey Paul:

No, it'd be really hysterical if you got expo tattoos and now they all got.

Sean Morton:

No, they all got Montreal tattoos.

Sean Morton:

Like, some of them got maple leaves, some of them got.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's not Montreal, that's Toronto.

Jeffrey Paul:

Whoever got that is Canadian, dog.

Sean Morton:

They got Canadian shit like the Maple Leaf.

Jeffrey Paul:

I would have gotten.

Jeffrey Paul:

I would have gotten.

Sean Morton:

You know what?

Sean Morton:

Well, because.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, because, you know, you're half of a fanook.

Sean Morton:

You know what I mean?

Sean Morton:

But I figured, I love baseball.

Sean Morton:

Let me at least get the freaking Expos logo as my.

Sean Morton:

As my contribution to everybody getting the Montreal tattoo.

Sean Morton:

That's the reason why I got it.

Jeffrey Paul:

So because you.

Jeffrey Paul:

You have this, like, exposed.

Jeffrey Paul:

Did you wind up, like, studying the Expos A little bit.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like, you have.

Jeffrey Paul:

You can have to know about the Expos.

Sean Morton:

I did like the Expos growing up.

Sean Morton:

I mean, they were around when I was growing up.

Sean Morton:

I loved Andre Dawson.

Sean Morton:

I loved Tim Raines because I was one of those kids who loved individual players as well as.

Sean Morton:

Not just my.

Sean Morton:

Not just.

Jeffrey Paul:

What was Reigns first name?

Sean Morton:

Tim Reigns.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Tom Borowski:

Not Rock, exactly.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, right.

Jeffrey Paul:

The guy who.

Jeffrey Paul:

A guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

The guy who wants to be the show off.

Jeffrey Paul:

The guy who.

Jeffrey Paul:

The guy who wears, like, the Monarchs, the Kansas City Monarchs had at a game.

Jeffrey Paul:

Hey, man.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I'm progressive.

Jeffrey Paul:

I wear Negro league hats, too, you know.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, he'll call Tim Reigns Rock Reigns.

Jeffrey Paul:

I never call him Rock Reigns.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, that's awful.

Jeffrey Paul:

Also, do you ever watch that show, Porn Stars?

Sean Morton:

Of course.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

Corey is never referred to as Big Haas.

Jeffrey Paul:

Only in the opening.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, that.

Jeffrey Paul:

That bothers me.

Tom Borowski:

Is that show still on the air?

Tom Borowski:

Is this, like.

Sean Morton:

The other show that I like?

Sean Morton:

The guy died today.

Sean Morton:

Did you see that, Jeff?

Jeffrey Paul:

Who's that John Amos guy?

Jeffrey Paul:

No, I never watched that show.

Tom Borowski:

Order one.

Tom Borowski:

Frank.

Sean Morton:

Oh, Frank Fritz.

Sean Morton:

60 years of.

Sean Morton:

60 years old.

Jeffrey Paul:

So young.

Jeffrey Paul:

So young.

Sean Morton:

60, 60.

Tom Borowski:

It's surprising because he looks so healthy.

Jeffrey Paul:

What do you look?

Jeffrey Paul:

I.

Jeffrey Paul:

I didn't.

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know.

Sean Morton:

I liked him.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, Thomas.

Jeffrey Paul:

Snarky.

Sean Morton:

I like it.

Tom Borowski:

It's good.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom may not be displaying it now, but he.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom is funny.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, this is the thing also with Tom.

Jeffrey Paul:

I wanted.

Jeffrey Paul:

I want him to be in the comics Fantasy football league, too, because he.

Jeffrey Paul:

He does get up and he'll do comedy.

Jeffrey Paul:

And if Tom learns the.

Jeffrey Paul:

The art of editing, he could actually be funny and get up and be able to do comedy.

Jeffrey Paul:

You could.

Jeffrey Paul:

You could.

Jeffrey Paul:

He has funny stories.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's.

Jeffrey Paul:

He genuinely loves comedy, which is, I think, a key requirement of this.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think Tom could be funny.

Jeffrey Paul:

And there are guys in the league who.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think Tom probably gets up more than, you know, we Got to get you on a real show.

Jeffrey Paul:

Would you do that, Tom?

Tom Borowski:

I think I would, yeah.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, you know, I mean, I've.

Tom Borowski:

I've gone on Boomer and Carton.

Tom Borowski:

I've gone on, you know, half the ESPN shows.

Tom Borowski:

I think I can handle any.

Tom Borowski:

Any of the Jeff Paul shows.

Tom Borowski:

I think I'll be okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't know if you can handle any of the Jeff Paul shows.

Tom Borowski:

I was on Howard Stern.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, that's not doing stand up.

Tom Borowski:

Oh, that's easy.

Tom Borowski:

I got.

Tom Borowski:

I got stories.

Tom Borowski:

I'll.

Tom Borowski:

I'll tell you.

Tom Borowski:

You were talking about hookers before.

Tom Borowski:

I'll.

Tom Borowski:

I'll tell my hooker horses story.

Jeffrey Paul:

Everyone likes a good hookah story.

Tom Borowski:

Hooker horses.

Jeffrey Paul:

Hookah horses.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, because it sits gambling.

Tom Borowski:

There's hookers.

Tom Borowski:

Something for everybody.

Tom Borowski:

It's like the Princess Bride.

Jeffrey Paul:

See that, that, that, that's.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's the humor right there.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's the joke.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's like the Princess Bride.

Tom Borowski:

You don't, you don't know about hooker horses.

Tom Borowski:

I never told you about that.

Jeffrey Paul:

No.

Jeffrey Paul:

Atlantic City.

Jeffrey Paul:

You never did.

Jeffrey Paul:

I see Sean's also being.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's not, he's not being very generous right now.

Jeffrey Paul:

And what I mean by that, he has an embarrassing story that he's told on this show.

Jeffrey Paul:

And Tom, what do you think about this?

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, you know, you met Sean Morton tonight, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, so Sean Morton goes to a concert and he doesn't have very good seats, but he wants.

Sean Morton:

This is not an embarrassing story.

Sean Morton:

This is a fucking work of genius.

Sean Morton:

Okay?

Sean Morton:

This is not embarrassing.

Sean Morton:

I was not embarrassed at all at one bit.

Sean Morton:

This is.

Sean Morton:

Okay, I will tell the story again for Tom.

Sean Morton:

You tell me.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tell.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tell Tom.

Jeffrey Paul:

And do not leave it, because I will.

Jeffrey Paul:

I will.

Sean Morton:

I will not leave one part of.

Jeffrey Paul:

It out because I am like right now.

Jeffrey Paul:

I am like Dana Bash.

Jeffrey Paul:

I am going to fact check you.

Jeffrey Paul:

Go ahead.

Sean Morton:

I.

Sean Morton:

In my 48 years, this is quite possibly top three of greatest things I've ever pulled off in my entire life.

Sean Morton:

Okay, welcome to the microphone.

Sean Morton:

My dear friend was a DJ on a radio station and he had extra tickets for Metallica.

Sean Morton:

So we all go down to Giant Stadium.

Sean Morton:

He hands us four tickets.

Sean Morton:

I bring a good friend of mine who's also a comedian, Joe Fernandez, and he hands us four tickets.

Sean Morton:

Now I'm going to sit with Joe and my friend's sister in law and his best friend.

Sean Morton:

We look second to last row from the top.

Sean Morton:

No big deal.

Sean Morton:

We're in the place.

Sean Morton:

We got it for free.

Sean Morton:

We're good.

Sean Morton:

Now, mind you, in the parking lot before completely inebriated.

Sean Morton:

I am up beyond all recognition.

Sean Morton:

Okay, get inside.

Sean Morton:

Now, Joe does not drink and the girls are just stoned, I believe.

Sean Morton:

So we get up there, we're watching the show, we are high up.

Sean Morton:

The girls say, you know, we have to go to the bathroom.

Sean Morton:

So I go, joe, let's be gentlemen.

Sean Morton:

Let's take them down with us.

Jeffrey Paul:

Let's.

Sean Morton:

Let's go down with them, whatever.

Sean Morton:

We walk all the way down.

Sean Morton:

As we walk down, we look over to the right and I see guest services is right at the very bottom of the section.

Sean Morton:

I go, guys, follow me.

Sean Morton:

I walk up and I go, hi.

Sean Morton:

Then the girls, can I help you?

Sean Morton:

I go, can we get some better seats?

Sean Morton:

And she goes, what's the matter?

Sean Morton:

So I go, look, I don't want to make a big deal about it, but I'm a pretty famous comedian and these seats are really, really high up.

Sean Morton:

Plus it's my friend's birthday and she pulls out her license and she goes here and shows it and it was her legit birthday.

Sean Morton:

And the girl goes, you give me some tickets.

Sean Morton:

And I said, I will.

Sean Morton:

And she goes, hold on.

Sean Morton:

And she goes and gives me four tickets and she goes, here you go, Happy birthday.

Sean Morton:

And we looked down got from the second to last row in the 300 section to side of the stage, 14th row, right next to the pyro.

Sean Morton:

Just by saying the truth that I am a pretty famous fucking comedian.

Jeffrey Paul:

To that girl's disappointment, those tickets for comedy night at Black Betty's.

Jeffrey Paul:

Matt Bridgestone presents.

Sean Morton:

That's funny.

Sean Morton:

Yes.

Sean Morton:

That was not embarrassing story, Tom.

Sean Morton:

Or is work of genius?

Jeffrey Paul:

Come on, I'm a pretty face.

Tom Borowski:

I don't see the embarrassment there.

Tom Borowski:

It worked out.

Jeffrey Paul:

How does this Zero, how does this fucking zero have the nerve in public say I'm a pretty famous comedian.

Jeffrey Paul:

How does he have the nerve?

Tom Borowski:

You know, it's a ballsy move and I'll tell you why.

Tom Borowski:

Because it has to work.

Tom Borowski:

When you put that out there, if that doesn't come through, you're going to look.

Tom Borowski:

You're going to look real bad.

Tom Borowski:

How do you walk away from that?

Tom Borowski:

Services dance.

Sean Morton:

But here's the worst part about it.

Sean Morton:

If it was just my friends, I could have gotten away with it.

Sean Morton:

If it backfired, I had a comedian with me.

Sean Morton:

So there was a comic witness.

Sean Morton:

Do you realize what I would have gone through my entire life as a comedian had that not gone the way that I wanted it to go?

Jeffrey Paul:

That's very true.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's very true.

Sean Morton:

I would have been I would have been called Shawnee Metallica my entire.

Sean Morton:

The rest of my career.

Sean Morton:

Or some sort of Metallica reference the whole time.

Jeffrey Paul:

Now I think Shawnee Metallica would have been a good nickname for you.

Sean Morton:

It's a good name.

Sean Morton:

I dig it.

Jeffrey Paul:

I gotta say though, Sean is probably the best person to go to a concert with.

Jeffrey Paul:

He really does.

Jeffrey Paul:

He is a concert aficionado.

Jeffrey Paul:

He know.

Jeffrey Paul:

He knows the fucking ins and outs of going to a concert.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, it's kind of like the way you would do like your tailgate tomorrow.

Jeffrey Paul:

Like you really seem to have that like on lockdown.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's the way Sean is like, he knows where to park, he knows the right time to get there.

Jeffrey Paul:

The exact place to talk about time in the concert, to leave.

Jeffrey Paul:

We went to Metallica.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was jam packed.

Jeffrey Paul:

We parked basically in the stadium.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

We tailgated a little bit and we left.

Jeffrey Paul:

We were okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

We were out of there on the road, like on the highway.

Jeffrey Paul:

What would you say?

Jeffrey Paul:

Five, ten minutes?

Sean Morton:

Ten minutes?

Sean Morton:

Yeah.

Sean Morton:

That was.

Jeffrey Paul:

That was insane.

Sean Morton:

I don't need to hear, man, I can get the hell out of there.

Jeffrey Paul:

I've never, I've never, you know, Metlife.

Jeffrey Paul:

That could be 45 minutes easy getting out of that parking lot.

Sean Morton:

Even with Starland, you can get gnarled up for 10, 15 minutes.

Sean Morton:

Going out of there, I'm out of it.

Sean Morton:

I don't give a.

Sean Morton:

About the last song.

Sean Morton:

I look at the set list.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, I've heard this song 67 times.

Sean Morton:

Let's get out of here.

Sean Morton:

And you're on the re.

Sean Morton:

On the road before the friggin bands, even off the stage.

Jeffrey Paul:

But even when we would go to Starland, you know.

Jeffrey Paul:

And Tom, you got to come with us.

Jeffrey Paul:

One time I.

Jeffrey Paul:

We actually.

Jeffrey Paul:

Sean, you met Joe Gorgliam, he was the guy we took the Dirty Honey.

Sean Morton:

Okay.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, I remember that was good.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, that was a great show.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

So even a Dirty Honey jam packed, you know, you can't move in there.

Jeffrey Paul:

We had a great spot, Zach.

Jeffrey Paul:

Wild, great spot, you know.

Jeffrey Paul:

Now that's.

Jeffrey Paul:

That.

Jeffrey Paul:

That was really good.

Sean Morton:

Next month, I'm thinking, Jeff, you're gonna get a ticket and come to see Steel Panther with me.

Sean Morton:

That's what I think.

Sean Morton:

It's gonna happen.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

Steel Panther, man, that's.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's still around, huh?

Sean Morton:

And it's great show.

Sean Morton:

It's a great show, man.

Jeffrey Paul:

Do they do.

Jeffrey Paul:

Do they do covers only or are they just completely original?

Jeffrey Paul:

But, but it's all like a kind of like a.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, it's all 80s metal, but it's kind of like Weird Al meets 80s metal, where they make, like, the spoof songs, but it's all done with, like, you know, hard rock and metal.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I don't know if I like spoof songs.

Jeffrey Paul:

Why?

Tom Borowski:

You don't want Weird Al Yankovic guy?

Jeffrey Paul:

I met Weird Al Yankovic and he was like, the nicest guy in the world.

Jeffrey Paul:

Really?

Jeffrey Paul:

Very nice.

Jeffrey Paul:

Signed something nice for me too.

Jeffrey Paul:

I didn't even ask him.

Sean Morton:

He did it.

Jeffrey Paul:

Really very cool, dude.

Tom Borowski:

But, I mean, took Weird Al's autograph, but not Lenny Dykes show.

Jeffrey Paul:

I have Lenny Dyke.

Jeffrey Paul:

How many Lenny Dykes for autographs am I going to have to have?

Jeffrey Paul:

And how much is it going to really be worth?

Jeffrey Paul:

Not that I would sell it.

Tom Borowski:

So it's just about money to you, Jeff.

Jeffrey Paul:

No, it's not.

Jeffrey Paul:

Again, I have the book Nails, which Tom was the ghostwriter for.

Jeffrey Paul:

Are you the ghostwriter or did you actually get an author credit?

Tom Borowski:

I got an author credit on the inside.

Tom Borowski:

We were bumped.

Tom Borowski:

I was bumped off the front cover because I successfully got a quote from Stephen King.

Tom Borowski:

There was maybe a pseudo embarrassing story that led up to that, which I tell in the book with a byline towards the back of the book, as in, afterward, we were trying to get his favorite author from when he was in prison, John Grisham, to write a little something for the book.

Tom Borowski:

And did I tell you that story?

Jeffrey Paul:

Did you tell us?

Jeffrey Paul:

Come on.

Tom Borowski:

So.

Tom Borowski:

So Lenny, you know, during the book tour, he was based.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he was living in my house, and, you know, we were making appointments, we were going on the air.

Tom Borowski:

We were, you know, we got yelled at by the commissioner's office.

Tom Borowski:

That's a different story for another day.

Jeffrey Paul:

If you remember, it was a big deal.

Jeffrey Paul:

Lenny's book winds up being, I think.

Tom Borowski:

A number one bestseller for more than two months.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I remember that was for a couple of weeks, was like a huge thing.

Jeffrey Paul:

He was on Stern.

Jeffrey Paul:

He was on.

Jeffrey Paul:

On.

Jeffrey Paul:

On the morning shows.

Jeffrey Paul:

He was on espn.

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, but it was.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was a real big thing, and I got to thank you for this.

Jeffrey Paul:

Before he even went on Stern, he came on Mine and Kevin Goatees Dopey podcast that we used to do at Broadway Comedy Club.

Jeffrey Paul:

The only thing is, we had a, you know, wait, I think three days until the Stern interview aired before we could release the podcast.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, yeah.

Tom Borowski:

So, I mean, yeah, they brought us.

Tom Borowski:

They brought us out on ESPN's campus and Bristol, Connecticut.

Tom Borowski:

We went on every show over a day and a half that ESPN had.

Tom Borowski:

It was pretty cool.

Tom Borowski:

A lot of embarrassing moments for him there.

Tom Borowski:

But, but the, the one for me is, you know, he tells me we're going to meet John Grisham.

Tom Borowski:

You know, we're going to talk to him about the forward or whatever.

Tom Borowski:

I'm like, this is pretty cool.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, I, you know, I've read a couple of Grisham books.

Tom Borowski:

Figured, you know, the pretty cool.

Jeffrey Paul:

Everybody read the Firm, of course, you.

Tom Borowski:

Know, I mean, better than the movie version, that's for sure.

Tom Borowski:

But.

Tom Borowski:

So we're driving out to Charleston.

Jeffrey Paul:

My wife's graduation from vet school.

Tom Borowski:

Really?

Tom Borowski:

He left the house for that?

Tom Borowski:

That's, that's shocking.

Tom Borowski:

He's a recluse, this guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, but he's also, he's also a southerner.

Jeffrey Paul:

And she graduated from Mississippi State.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, well, I mean, I, you know, I don't want to give too much information, but we, you know, to get to his house, it's not easy.

Tom Borowski:

It's not like, you know, take exit, you know, 16 and make a right on this street and a left on that street.

Jeffrey Paul:

Well, what's his address?

Tom Borowski:

This man lives out where the Unabomber lives.

Tom Borowski:

He lives out in the middle of nowhere.

Tom Borowski:

And when I say the middle of nowhere, thank God I have a lot of different vehicles.

Tom Borowski:

Thank God I took the off road Jeep.

Tom Borowski:

I thought it'd be comfortable.

Tom Borowski:

There was no road.

Tom Borowski:

We're on dirt paths.

Tom Borowski:

I'm driving in between trees.

Tom Borowski:

This is not like a.

Tom Borowski:

An exaggeration.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, there is no way to get to this track to land.

Tom Borowski:

You know, we.

Tom Borowski:

GPS was not working because I had no signal.

Tom Borowski:

Lenny dy.

Tom Borowski:

This is a true story.

Tom Borowski:

Lenny Dijkstra takes out like this portable satellite Internet thing that at the time he paid for so that he had Internet service anywhere.

Tom Borowski:

I had to connect to his little portable hotspot that was, that was getting beamed down from the satellite so that I had gps because we're, we're driving through like the forest, like in Charlottesville, Virginia.

Tom Borowski:

I'm like, I'm like, lenny, this can't be right.

Tom Borowski:

He's like, trust me, bro.

Jeffrey Paul:

John Grisham, Charlottesville, Virginia.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, it's all in the book.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, house and nails.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, anybody could buy it.

Tom Borowski:

So in any ways after like this long trip out, thank God it was during the day, during, you know, during.

Jeffrey Paul:

The night, there was, you're pitch blackness, right?

Tom Borowski:

Oh, yeah, it would have been, it would have been terrible.

Jeffrey Paul:

Was it even a road?

Tom Borowski:

Not a road.

Tom Borowski:

There were dirt paths that, you know, maybe like, maybe a small farm vehicle or like a very, very Small van, might be able to.

Tom Borowski:

I.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, it wasn't a road.

Tom Borowski:

It was definitely a pro.

Tom Borowski:

I'd call it a private path, but we're miles, miles off the main road.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, he was out there, this man.

Tom Borowski:

I think he owned hundreds of acres.

Tom Borowski:

And so we finally get up to these big gates, and there's a house behind it.

Tom Borowski:

I can see up on a hill.

Tom Borowski:

I said, okay, great.

Tom Borowski:

We're at his house.

Tom Borowski:

I said, what time's our appointment?

Tom Borowski:

And he looks at me and he says, what are you talking about, appointment?

Tom Borowski:

Funny.

Tom Borowski:

You're with me, right?

Tom Borowski:

He goes, no.

Tom Borowski:

He goes, we don't have an appointment.

Tom Borowski:

He's like, we're here.

Tom Borowski:

We're just gonna Pearl harbor them.

Tom Borowski:

We're just gonna, you know, we're gonna.

Tom Borowski:

We're gonna knock on the door.

Tom Borowski:

I brought a copy of the book.

Tom Borowski:

I got this.

Tom Borowski:

I got.

Tom Borowski:

I'm like, you're.

Tom Borowski:

You're really with me right now.

Tom Borowski:

We're gonna get arrested.

Tom Borowski:

You can't just.

Tom Borowski:

This.

Tom Borowski:

This guy.

Tom Borowski:

This guy is living out in the middle of nowhere for a reason.

Tom Borowski:

You know, When Lenny scales the fence, I don't really want to get too much into that.

Jeffrey Paul:

He jumps over the fence.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, yeah.

Tom Borowski:

He opens it from the inside, tells me to drive through.

Tom Borowski:

I, you know, I figure, you know what?

Tom Borowski:

We're both get.

Tom Borowski:

We're both in it now.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, I figure it.

Tom Borowski:

So at this point, I.

Tom Borowski:

I hit the gas.

Tom Borowski:

I.

Tom Borowski:

I drive on up.

Tom Borowski:

I don't even know if there's people there.

Tom Borowski:

I don't know if it's even really John Grisham's house.

Tom Borowski:

I'm like, it.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he could have killed you.

Jeffrey Paul:

And no one would probably weeks, ever.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, this.

Tom Borowski:

You know, they could have shot us with a rifle.

Tom Borowski:

You know, they could have buried us out there.

Tom Borowski:

Nobody would ever found us.

Tom Borowski:

Isn't it?

Tom Borowski:

You know, we wound up talking to a guy named Travis, who was like a caretaker there.

Tom Borowski:

And, you know, if you wanted.

Jeffrey Paul:

If you want to see John Grisham, young man, you're going to have to do a little Grisham to me.

Tom Borowski:

He had a little bit of freak show in him.

Tom Borowski:

If you've seen that movie.

Tom Borowski:

He was wearing overall.

Tom Borowski:

He didn't.

Tom Borowski:

He didn't.

Tom Borowski:

He didn't have the face to match him, but he had basically everything.

Jeffrey Paul:

He didn't have the exploding pus boils.

Tom Borowski:

No, he didn't have that, but he.

Tom Borowski:

But he had the dark brown hair and overalls, and I'm pretty sure this guy hadn't showered in A week.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, I don't know what he does for John Grisham, but called himself a caretaker.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, it was a pretty rough, you know, it was a pretty rough experience.

Tom Borowski:

Grisham was a little shook.

Jeffrey Paul:

You got to see.

Jeffrey Paul:

Talk to John Grisham very briefly.

Tom Borowski:

I don't think he appreciated us rolling up on him.

Jeffrey Paul:

Get the off my property.

Jeffrey Paul:

Was that the extent of the conversation?

Tom Borowski:

He didn't do that, but he took a copy of the book manuscript.

Tom Borowski:

Lenny offered to sign a couple of things for him.

Tom Borowski:

Unlike Jeffrey Paul, Grisham took the autographs, said thank you.

Jeffrey Paul:

John Grisham is no Jeffrey Paul.

Tom Borowski:

He's not.

Tom Borowski:

He's not.

Tom Borowski:

He, you know, he has, you know, I'm not even gonna go there, but.

Sean Morton:

I'll just say that, you know, talent, charisma, money.

Sean Morton:

I think I'll keep going.

Sean Morton:

Good looks.

Jeffrey Paul:

Good, good looks.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, he's in shape.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, yeah.

Tom Borowski:

He has a caretaker named Travis.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, all kinds of stuff.

Tom Borowski:

But he, you know, he waved us.

Tom Borowski:

He took the autographs.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he asked a few questions like, to the extent of, how did you find me?

Tom Borowski:

What are you doing here?

Tom Borowski:

It was, it was a little embarrassing.

Tom Borowski:

I, I was glad there was no law enforcement involved.

Tom Borowski:

And he took the book, but we never heard from him again.

Tom Borowski:

We did not get the forward.

Tom Borowski:

And, you know, when he said he.

Tom Borowski:

We wanted to go after Stephen King next, I set it up behind his back and let him think he was surprising Stephen King.

Tom Borowski:

But really I had a.

Tom Borowski:

An appointment with his, his personal assistant.

Tom Borowski:

So.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

You think?

Tom Borowski:

No, no, no.

Jeffrey Paul:

So before we wrap this up, okay, this show is called who's your band?

Jeffrey Paul:

And I don't know if we talked even a smidge of music yet.

Jeffrey Paul:

You're.

Jeffrey Paul:

Is your favorite artist Springsteen?

Tom Borowski:

I guess I would say that.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, I'm not a crazy fan.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, I like all kinds of music.

Tom Borowski:

But I've seen Bruce in concert probably probably more than anyone else.

Tom Borowski:

I've probably seen Bruce seven or eight times.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's pretty big.

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, that's a big investment that go and see Springsteen that many times.

Jeffrey Paul:

How did you wind up?

Jeffrey Paul:

First of all, favorite album by Springsteen.

Tom Borowski:

Probably Born to Run.

Jeffrey Paul:

We talk about this all the time on this show.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I think we say Springsteen had the best three album run of any artist.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, no question about Born to Run, Darkness on the edge of Town, the River.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, besides the Beatles, is there a band that.

Jeffrey Paul:

Or artists that have put out, you know, three amazing in a row?

Jeffrey Paul:

Not, not if you had the first three programs you're gonna put against those three sprints.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, absolutely.

Jeffrey Paul:

You are on drugs.

Jeffrey Paul:

The first album, yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

Second album, not bad.

Jeffrey Paul:

The third album, it's.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's good, but come on, it's not the river here.

Sean Morton:

It's nowhere saying it's a good one, you mook.

Sean Morton:

Jesus Christ.

Tom Borowski:

No, but the thing about Springsteen is he has one of the most misunderstood songs of all time with, you know, born in the U.S.A.

Tom Borowski:

yes.

Tom Borowski:

You know, most people think that's a very patriotic song.

Tom Borowski:

It's, you know, it's been, you know, a couple of foreign Olympics.

Tom Borowski:

You know, they played it, you know, for.

Tom Borowski:

For us when athletes won.

Tom Borowski:

Not understanding it, it, you know, it's essentially, you know, a mockery against the country.

Tom Borowski:

You know, he's lamenting that he was born in the USA it was an anti war, anti Vietnam song.

Tom Borowski:

And, you know, people tend to think it's patriotic because of the chorus, and it's just.

Tom Borowski:

It's just not something that mainstream.

Tom Borowski:

Well, especially now that it's been lost to a generation.

Tom Borowski:

You know, people don't understand it.

Tom Borowski:

So I always found that interesting.

Jeffrey Paul:

Do you have a favorite Springsteen song?

Tom Borowski:

See, I would probably want to pick something a little bit, you know, it's a little bit less mainstream.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, he has a ton of hits.

Tom Borowski:

You know, maybe something like Brilliant Disguise.

Tom Borowski:

That's kind of a clever song.

Jeffrey Paul:

Or that's not even an E Street Band song, I don't think.

Jeffrey Paul:

I think that's.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's off a solo album, isn't it?

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tom Borowski:

It's a little bit later.

Tom Borowski:

How about 10th Avenue freeze out?

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

You can't go wrong with that.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's a great song.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's a great in concert song.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I.

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, for me, when it comes to Springsteen, I.

Jeffrey Paul:

I still think.

Jeffrey Paul:

Prove It All Night.

Jeffrey Paul:

I never gets old.

Jeffrey Paul:

The live version from Phoenix in 78, when the album.

Jeffrey Paul:

When that song just was coming out of darkness.

Jeffrey Paul:

Oh, my God, man.

Jeffrey Paul:

The prelude leading up to it is just beautiful.

Jeffrey Paul:

It really is amazing.

Jeffrey Paul:

I still think the river is still, like, you know, like storyteller songs.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's a great storyteller song.

Tom Borowski:

And I think you'd be more of a Tom Joad kind of guy then with the guitar and all of that.

Jeffrey Paul:

I do like Tom Joad, but I also started liking some of his latest stuff.

Jeffrey Paul:

And, like.

Jeffrey Paul:

Do you know the song Living in the Future?

Tom Borowski:

Yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

Great.

Jeffrey Paul:

Great song, man.

Jeffrey Paul:

Off of Magic.

Jeffrey Paul:

What a great song that is.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, he's got a lot.

Sean Morton:

I mean, a lot of stuff, man.

Sean Morton:

From the last 15 years goes unnoticed.

Sean Morton:

It really does.

Sean Morton:

But he's had some really, really amazing songs in the last 10, 15 years that people don't give enough credit to.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, you went to that big concert.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's.

Jeffrey Paul:

That Here and See song Here now festival.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, that was one of the.

Sean Morton:

One of the 30,000 Mongoloids standing on a beach watching Springsteen for three hours.

Sean Morton:

But, I mean, I looked back.

Jeffrey Paul:

I saw the picture.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom, go ahead.

Tom Borowski:

No, I was.

Tom Borowski:

I was gonna say there's a.

Tom Borowski:

You know, I'm just thinking of, you know, random pop culture references.

Tom Borowski:

There's actually a song by another popular artist.

Tom Borowski:

See if.

Tom Borowski:

See if you can get it.

Tom Borowski:

That the chorus and the title is about Bruce Springsteen, but more so about him being misunderstood and mistook for being Bruce Springsteen from the 80s.

Tom Borowski:

Another 80s artist.

Jeffrey Paul:

Give me a hint.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I know.

Jeffrey Paul:

Don't give me.

Jeffrey Paul:

Don't give me a hint.

Jeffrey Paul:

I know it already.

Jeffrey Paul:

Stop it.

Jeffrey Paul:

Is it Rick Springfield?

Tom Borowski:

Yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, come on, Bruce.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, listen.

Jeffrey Paul:

Do you know what show you're on?

Jeffrey Paul:

You're on.

Jeffrey Paul:

Who's they?

Tom Borowski:

Both.

Tom Borowski:

They both have a song named Human Touch and a lot of, you know, a lot of.

Tom Borowski:

A lot of similarities.

Tom Borowski:

And.

Tom Borowski:

And Springfield wrote a song about a girl he was about to bang, and he was about to get it in, and she called him Bruce.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's right.

Tom Borowski:

I bet he did it anyway.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's not.

Jeffrey Paul:

That.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's great.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's a good story.

Jeffrey Paul:

That is.

Jeffrey Paul:

And.

Jeffrey Paul:

And also to bring it full circle, Sean Morton has a guitar signed by Rick Springfield.

Sean Morton:

Rick Springfield.

Tom Borowski:

He's the worst host on 80s on eight, by the way.

Tom Borowski:

You want to take a nap?

Tom Borowski:

Just put him on.

Tom Borowski:

Oh, my God.

Jeffrey Paul:

You don't think he tells stories?

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, he.

Tom Borowski:

He's like.

Tom Borowski:

He's like.

Tom Borowski:

He's like the.

Tom Borowski:

The guy on the radio in Reservoir Dogs, you know, just speaking monotone.

Tom Borowski:

This.

Tom Borowski:

where I was food shopping in:

Tom Borowski:

It'll just keep going on and on.

Tom Borowski:

It's like, rick, shut the fuck up.

Jeffrey Paul:

That is actually a pretty good impression.

Jeffrey Paul:

It is like that.

Jeffrey Paul:

He'll tell these stories that go nowhere.

Jeffrey Paul:

He'd be like, I remember in:

Jeffrey Paul:

I went up to him and said, hey.

Jeffrey Paul:

And he goes, that's my last name.

Jeffrey Paul:

And now here's Men Down Under.

Sean Morton:

You realize you're talking about yourself on every episode of this fucking podcast for the last four and a Half years too, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

What does that mean?

Sean Morton:

That you ask shitty questions and you contribute nothing to the show.

Jeffrey Paul:

What are you.

Jeffrey Paul:

Are you out of your mind?

Jeffrey Paul:

I will come over there and throw hot coffee in your face right now.

Jeffrey Paul:

Are you nuts?

Sean Morton:

Someone mad working tonight?

Jeffrey Paul:

No, I gotta go to the gym after this.

Tom Borowski:

Just after this.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I know.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's gonna.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's gonna be a good session time because.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom, Mets won, right?

Tom Borowski:

They did.

Tom Borowski:

They pulled it out.

Tom Borowski:

Game one eight, four.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is amazing.

Jeffrey Paul:

Magic year, wouldn't you say?

Tom Borowski:

Wide open.

Tom Borowski:

So I'd say dream big right now on social media.

Sean Morton:

Jeff, I don't know if you saw it or not, but I.

Sean Morton:

With the Mets making the playoffs this year, the Tri State white trash noise level is roughly 68% louder than it is than normal.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes, I saw that.

Jeffrey Paul:

I chose to ignore it.

Jeffrey Paul:

No, but Tom, where are you ranking this Mets year right now?

Jeffrey Paul:

I mean, 86 and 80 and 69 are the two golden years, of course.

Tom Borowski:

Well, you figure they have 11 playoff years, right?

Tom Borowski:

They've been around 62 years.

Tom Borowski:

Not so bad.

Tom Borowski:

11, 11 times in the postseason in 62 years.

Tom Borowski:

The problem is better than the jets percentage.

Tom Borowski:

It's better than the jets percentage.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, Jesus Christ.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, they've been in one Super bowl and people were watching it on a 12 inch screen, black and white, you know, with Howdy Doody coming on after it.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, that's not even.

Jeffrey Paul:

It was Heidi.

Jeffrey Paul:

Heidi.

Jeffrey Paul:

That what they got?

Tom Borowski:

Well, they switched to Heidi.

Tom Borowski:

That was the right.

Tom Borowski:

That was later on.

Tom Borowski:

Much later on, they switched to height.

Tom Borowski:

But I mean, brutal.

Tom Borowski:

Absolutely brutal.

Tom Borowski:

11 playoff runs in 62 years would be considered very, you know, very respectable if they didn't have the team in the Bronx across town.

Tom Borowski:

So that's really the problem.

Tom Borowski:

But I think where they finish will.

Tom Borowski:

Will determine.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, there's one interesting thing.

Tom Borowski:

I don't want to jinx it, but it's the Buck Showalter factor.

Tom Borowski:

You know what that is, right?

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes.

Jeffrey Paul:

He'll bring teams.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

But he's a lot like Moses.

Jeffrey Paul:

He'll take you there, but Joshua will take you into Israel.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

So I mean, to clarify for people who aren't down with your Bible references, every time Buck Showalter gets fired, the next year the team wins the World Series.

Tom Borowski:

It's kind of like that bad Dane Cook movie.

Tom Borowski:

You like comics, like every time he dated a girl, like she, you know, every time she banged them, they got married.

Tom Borowski:

The next guy they dated.

Tom Borowski:

I can't even believe I'm actually, you know, what we were talking about embarrassing moments.

Tom Borowski:

It's pretty embarrassing.

Tom Borowski:

I remember that movie.

Tom Borowski:

Let's just edit that part out of this podcast.

Tom Borowski:

I never saw it.

Jeffrey Paul:

Adam, you make sure.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

The first clip that we do on real.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, that.

Jeffrey Paul:

That is it.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's.

Jeffrey Paul:

And I want.

Jeffrey Paul:

I want in red letters, Tom Borowski and then flashing Tom Borowski.

Tom Borowski:

I'm one of the four guys that saw that movie.

Tom Borowski:

I don't know why I hope I was on a date, but anyway, I'll just tell you.

Tom Borowski:

Every year after Buck Show Walter gets fired, it started, you know, with the Yankees and the Diamondbacks.

Tom Borowski:

The next year the team wins the World Series.

Tom Borowski:

So Buck Show Walter got fired last year.

Tom Borowski:

This year the Mets are in the playoffs and you know, who knows?

Tom Borowski:

Maybe.

Tom Borowski:

Maybe it'll be three for three and.

Tom Borowski:

And that'll be something of what legends are made of.

Tom Borowski:

And if they do go deep into the playoffs, you know, this could be a top five top three season.

Tom Borowski:

You never know.

Tom Borowski:

They have a hell of a lineup.

Tom Borowski:

Pitching's a little shaky.

Tom Borowski:

They have a hell of a lineup.

Sean Morton:

You know.

Sean Morton:

You have your lock of the week, Jeff.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yes, I do.

Sean Morton:

I am going to.

Sean Morton:

I'm going to make a prediction here, Jeffrey.

Sean Morton:

My prediction is Doug Peterson from the Jacksonville Jaguars, should they lose this weekend, will be fired as the head coach and be replaced by Bill Belichick.

Jeffrey Paul:

That.

Jeffrey Paul:

Let me tell you something that happens.

Jeffrey Paul:

He does want to come back and that would be a good landing spot for him.

Jeffrey Paul:

They do have a quarterback, okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

Who they're definitely not getting enough out of.

Jeffrey Paul:

They h.

Jeffrey Paul:

They have talent on defense who.

Jeffrey Paul:

But you know, they just look like they kind of like gave up.

Jeffrey Paul:

That wouldn't be a terrible landing spot for them.

Sean Morton:

This comes true.

Sean Morton:

I am taking over Jeff's lock of the week for the week after.

Sean Morton:

That's what I'm saying.

Sean Morton:

It's going to be Shawnee's pick of.

Jeffrey Paul:

The week and they, they could lose because they're playing the Colts.

Jeffrey Paul:

But the.

Jeffrey Paul:

Jeff usually plays well against the Colts.

Tom Borowski:

Doug Peterson, Jeff.

Tom Borowski:

You want to know where I know him from?

Jeffrey Paul:

I have no idea who you would know him from.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, I haven't seen him in 20 plus years.

Tom Borowski:

But wait, hold on a second.

Jeffrey Paul:

I was going to.

Jeffrey Paul:

I was going to say, aren't you related to an offensive or defensive coordinator in the NFL?

Tom Borowski:

Well, yeah, that's separately.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah, I'm going to.

Tom Borowski:

I'm going to see him when he comes to town soon.

Tom Borowski:

My cousin, Lou Anarumo, he's Lewis than me, but he's he's the DC the defensive coordinator for the Bengals.

Tom Borowski:

That has nothing to do with Doug Peterson, though.

Tom Borowski:

He's just my cousin.

Tom Borowski:

Doug Peterson was a quarterback in the World League of American Football.

Tom Borowski:

Remember?

Tom Borowski:

For what team?

Tom Borowski:

Probably have no clue.

Tom Borowski:

The.

Jeffrey Paul:

Who was.

Jeffrey Paul:

Who was the.

Jeffrey Paul:

Was there a New York team in that.

Tom Borowski:

Yes, the New York, New Jersey Knights.

Jeffrey Paul:

I.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know what?

Tom Borowski:

I had?

Tom Borowski:

Giant Stadium.

Jeffrey Paul:

I had season tickets to that.

Jeffrey Paul:

They played four games.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, yeah.

Tom Borowski:

Some of those guys, you know, lingered around and, you know, when you played in Giant Stadium, you had access to a lot of.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, I know people in that era.

Jeffrey Paul:

You played for the Frankfurt Galaxy.

Tom Borowski:

No, we played for the New York team.

Jeffrey Paul:

Did he.

Tom Borowski:

You're a season ticket holder and you don't even remember watching?

Jeffrey Paul:

I don't remember that.

Jeffrey Paul:

You think.

Jeffrey Paul:

You think I remember anyone on that stupid team?

Jeffrey Paul:

It was.

Tom Borowski:

It was Todd Hamill.

Tom Borowski:

These are all their quarterbacks.

Tom Borowski:

I have a photographic memory.

Tom Borowski:

Doug Peterson was maybe their last quarterback.

Tom Borowski:

Don't think he did very well.

Tom Borowski:

They had.

Tom Borowski:

You know, that league had a lot of guys who, you know, couldn't.

Tom Borowski:

You know, couldn't cut it in the NFL or went back to the NFL.

Tom Borowski:

Doug Peterson, you know, we hung around, started coaching, and, you know, now he's.

Tom Borowski:

He's the head coach over there, at least until maybe next week.

Tom Borowski:

But, you know, I met a lot of people.

Tom Borowski:

Yeah.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, during my soccer days in Giant Stadium, I.

Tom Borowski:

A lot of people passed through there.

Tom Borowski:

There were a lot of alumni, a lot of football players, a lot of baseball players.

Tom Borowski:

Even, you know, I got to meet a lot.

Tom Borowski:

I met.

Tom Borowski:

That's how I met Harbaugh.

Tom Borowski:

Jim Harbaugh.

Tom Borowski:

I hung out with him.

Tom Borowski:

There's a lot of.

Tom Borowski:

A lot of cool stuff.

Tom Borowski:

I mean, you know, it's a good thing, you know, I'm not telling any Lawrence Taylor stories on this show.

Tom Borowski:

I don't want to get.

Tom Borowski:

I don't want to get in any trouble.

Tom Borowski:

But, you know, I mean, I have.

Tom Borowski:

You know, I have stories for days about some of those guys.

Jeffrey Paul:

That's another thing, Sean.

Jeffrey Paul:

Right.

Jeffrey Paul:

I'm sorry to cut you off, Tom, but.

Jeffrey Paul:

Because I know you would be a little too humble to say so.

Jeffrey Paul:

You'll see these pictures that pop up.

Jeffrey Paul:

And Tom will have these parties in his backyard, by the way.

Jeffrey Paul:

Great, great party.

Jeffrey Paul:

Backyard.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

And he'll have Charlie Hayes.

Jeffrey Paul:

There's a collective group of people.

Jeffrey Paul:

Charlie Hayes from the Yankees, Lawrence Taylor.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

Kevin Mitchell, Lenny Dystra.

Jeffrey Paul:

Right, Good.

Jeffrey Paul:

They'll all be hanging out in his backyard.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's not even a backyard it's like.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's like a Bronx barbecue going on back there.

Jeffrey Paul:

It's like you expect like Cat Williams, a Slappy White, to be showing up anytime soon.

Jeffrey Paul:

And slap.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I had to go slappy way.

Jeffrey Paul:

I was trying to think of, like the real, most urban comic that I could think of.

Tom Borowski:

We got a lot of big names passed through.

Tom Borowski:

We've got a lot of people hang out, you know, My wife loves Kevin Mitchell.

Tom Borowski:

She gives him hugs and kisses even though he was, you know, a gang banger in San Diego, you know.

Tom Borowski:

You know, I've seen some things, man.

Tom Borowski:

I've seen some shit.

Jeffrey Paul:

Super nice guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

He did.

Jeffrey Paul:

He did a solid, you know.

Jeffrey Paul:

Sean, do you know Harris Stanton?

Sean Morton:

Yeah, we had him on the show.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, Harris is a really good comedian.

Jeffrey Paul:

He toured with Tracy Morgan.

Jeffrey Paul:

He's always on the road with Dean Edwards now.

Jeffrey Paul:

Great guy, great guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

Played minor league ball.

Jeffrey Paul:

We should get him to play in one of these leagues.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom, you would love him.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay.

Jeffrey Paul:

Really, really good guy.

Jeffrey Paul:

His father's favorite baseball player was Kevin Mitchell.

Jeffrey Paul:

Mitchell.

Jeffrey Paul:

And when we were up in Cooperstown.

Tom Borowski:

Oh, I remember this.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah, I remember.

Jeffrey Paul:

Yeah.

Jeffrey Paul:

Harris asked me, goes, hey, any chance you can get Kevin, Kevin Mitchell to just do a video for my dad?

Jeffrey Paul:

He just retired, you know, and.

Jeffrey Paul:

And that's his favorite player.

Jeffrey Paul:

So I went up to Mitchell, I asked him to do the video.

Jeffrey Paul:

Couldn't.

Jeffrey Paul:

Couldn't have been nicer, couldn't have been better.

Jeffrey Paul:

Gave a great video, I sent it to Harris, and it made his father's day, you know, So I always, I always thought that was like a very cool thing that Mitchell did, you know?

Jeffrey Paul:

Hey, listen, man, people.

Jeffrey Paul:

People are different when they young.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is, this, this is my, my wrap up.

Jeffrey Paul:

This is my Jerry Springer moment here.

Jeffrey Paul:

You know, people when they're younger, they do foolish things, but when they get older, they change and they wisen up.

Sean Morton:

I wish you were like Springer right now.

Jeffrey Paul:

We can't top that, guys.

Jeffrey Paul:

Tom, thank you so much for coming on the show.

Jeffrey Paul:

I know, like you, we had to pull you away for the last couple innings of the Met game, so that's a big deal.

Jeffrey Paul:

I must be a good friend of his for him to do that for me.

Jeffrey Paul:

Sean, where are you going to be?

Jeffrey Paul:

What's going on with you?

Sean Morton:

What do I got coming up?

Sean Morton:

I'm just going to plug New Year's.

Sean Morton:

We got a gig coming up.

Sean Morton:

October, what, 17th, I think it is.

Sean Morton:

We're in the Lambertville station in Lambertville, New Jersey, with Gemini.

Sean Morton:

Yeah, New Year's Eve.

Sean Morton:

I'm headlining Laughing Up Comedy Club in Poughkeepsie, New York.

Sean Morton:

My second time heading New Year's Eve there, and it's they.

Sean Morton:

They bring in four or five hundred people that night.

Sean Morton:

So it's gonna be a show.

Jeffrey Paul:

Cal is the best.

Jeffrey Paul:

I was just up there on Saturday.

Jeffrey Paul:

Okay, so this.

Jeffrey Paul:

This Thursday night, I am at Catch, Horizon Star with Mike Marino.

Jeffrey Paul:

And then the following weekend, I will be there for the whole weekend at Catch with the legendary Bob Nelson.

Jeffrey Paul:

And like Sean said, I'll be over at Lambertville Station, and I'm headlining that what's his name?

Jeffrey Paul:

Tommy's Basement.

Jeffrey Paul:

So October all over Jersey, guys.

Jeffrey Paul:

Follow me on Jeffrey Paul comic on Instagram and Facebook and all the cool.

Jeffrey Paul:

And keep following, keep subscribing, and we appreciate it.

Jeffrey Paul:

We'll catch you later, guys.

Jeffrey Paul:

Take care, everybody.

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About the Podcast

Who's Your Band?
Give it a listen!
Comics Jeffrey Paul and Sean Morton interview a different guest each episode about their favorite band, why it's their favorite, and how they got into that band, as well as finding out their favorite songs, albums, and sharing stories!

About your host

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Adam Holz